Desdichado
by jamelia116
Summary: A sequel/prequel to "The Messenger." After the loss of her son with all on Voyager, Tom Paris' mother meets an old friend of theirs on Bajor. With the help of the friend and a vision from the Orb of Prophecy, Alicia Kelley finds a new path in life, as well as a way to keep her son's memory alive by providing help to the "Desdichado," the Disinherited children of the Maquis.
1. The Lost

**Desdichado**

**by jamelia**

**2376**

The window in her kitchen faced east. She liked that. Even though several buildings blocked her view of the sun rising above the horizon for most of the year, she could still watch as the light flooded the sky. On a few days of the year, the gaps between the buildings permitted her a brief glimpse of Sol low in the sky. On those days, Earth's atmosphere refracted the sun into a huge, glowing ball. She kept track of the course of the year that way, like a priestess studying astronomy at Stonehenge. On those rare days, she tried to be home on Earth. The rest of the time, she liked being on the move, anywhere but here.

She had expected to watch the show on the next couple of mornings if the sky were clear, but now it appeared she would not be around to see it. All things considered, she wasn't at all disappointed.

They'd heard from _Voyager_. Tom was alive and well. Her son was alive.

Alicia Kelley Paris gazed out her kitchen window, oblivious to the light flooding over her face, as she wept in joy and thanksgiving.

Several minutes later, her emotions firmly in check, Alicia wiped away her tears and contacted the travel agent who had booked her on a flight to Bajor the following week. She would need to move that up as much as possible, for, at the express interest of Starfleet's Admiralty, she had a task to perform.

It was not the first time she had gone to Bajor, but this time, it was going to be much more satisfying than the first time "Alicia Kelley" visited the Planet of the Prophets.

* * *

**2373 **

The path up to the ancient and venerable building complex seemed as old as the monastery itself. She could see how the stones had been worn down their centers, with chipped edges which bespoke of the feet of the untold numbers of pilgrims who had negotiated the steep slope before her, throughout many centuries. The Terran woman who traversed them now puffed heavily from exertion. At least the air of Bajor was close to that of her home planet. As heavy as her heart was, she didn't need to struggle for oxygen, too.

When she reached the top of the steps she put down her travel bags and caught her breath for a moment. She knew that the calendar said she was no longer young, but she was still in her prime. If the last couple of years hadn't made her feel so old, she wouldn't have felt the climb so much.

Of course, if not for the events of the last few years, would she even be here on Bajor, when strife was imminent? Never.

Her reverie was broken when the door opened before her, without any overt action upon the Terran woman's part to request entrance. From the kindly, welcoming expression on the face of the Old One at the doorway, Alicia knew her coming had been anticipated. Perhaps the doorkeeper had simply looked out upon the path by chance, to see her walking up the path. Perhaps her coming had been foretold and the door's opening for her, right then, was not due to chance. Warily, the Terran looked upon the Bajoran, tussling with her own paranoia and self-doubt.

"Who comes?" asked the old woman at the threshold.

Alicia looked at her blankly for a moment, unsure if she should give her true name or not, before recalling that what was called for here was the ritual response she had been advised to give. "One who . . . who seeks the ways of the Prophets," she said, stumbling over the words. It was one of the few Bajoran phrases she knew, and she was sure she'd made a mistake in the response somewhere.

"Enter, my child." The woman stated gravely, bending her head down and stepping back to give Alicia room to enter through the open portal. The bags bumped against the legs of the old woman as Alicia stepped inside.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" the Terran exclaimed in embarrassment.

The Bajoran woman laughed. "Don't worry about it, my child. I'm used to it. Most of those who enter the Supplicant's Gate carry burdens far heavier than those bags of yours. I've come to expect a bump or two on the knee."

The brown eyes bore deeply into Alicia's own, stripping away the last bits of composure she could muster. "I'm still sorry," she said in halting Bajoran.

"As I am for you, my child. As I am for you, too."

Alicia's tears flowed freely. The bags tumbled to the floor as Alicia held out her arms and leaned into the embrace of the old woman, who patted Alicia on the back as she finally allowed herself to sob out her desolation. Her baby boy, her only son, would never come home to her again.

* * *

"Are you all right now, my child?" the old one asked.

Although she was still shuddering a little from weeping, Alicia nodded that she was. The doorkeeper would have none of it. Shaking her head, she pointed to a bench and urged, "Just sit here a while. I will call someone to guide you within our walls. Here, take this, for your eyes."

The doorkeeper handed Alicia a soft cloth soaked in water from a jug by the doorway. The woman was right; the cloth was soothing to her eyes. Alicia knew she needed to pull herself together.

The doorkeeper stepped through the doorway to the interior courtyard of the monastery. She called out to someone who answered from a distance. Alicia did not hear exactly what was said, but a few minutes later, she heard slow steps coming from the courtyard. Alicia picked up her bags and stood, just as the person who had been called to fetch her stepped through the doorway. Alicia's guide was swathed in the robes of a vedek. The voluminous folds could not disguise the fact that the woman was heavily pregnant.

When Alicia looked at the vedek's face, she caught her breath in shock. She knew that face.

"Ro? Ro Laren?"

"Alicia? Alicia Paris!"

At the sight of the tears brimming in Ro Laren's eyes, Alicia Paris broke down again, this time to be comforted within the arms of someone she knew, and more importantly, someone who knew her son. Her Tom, lost to her forever.

=/\=


	2. To Seek a New Path

"Are you sure you'll be all right with her, Vedek Rikaar?"

"We'll be fine, Vedek Jaxa. Come, Alicia, take it easy down the path. There are steps, but just go slowly and you'll be fine. There you go. Just take them one at a time."

Alicia allowed herself to be quite literally guided down the steps. When Ro had tried to take her bags, Alicia had refused to let her have them, in deference to the younger woman's maternal state. Before they had gotten halfway down the path, however, an elderly man in the garb of a gardener suddenly appeared at Alicia's elbow. Prying the bigger bag out of Alicia's hands, he grabbed hold of her other elbow and accompanied the two women until the path leveled.

"Thanks, Terzy."

"No problem, Laren. You might want to take her over to the bench by the _jaranda_ arbor. They're in full bloom. The air is lovely over there right now."

"Good idea. Come, Alicia. Let's sit down in the shade, and we'll talk."

When they had settled into the bench, well-shaded by the branches laden with sweetly scented crimson flowers, Ro sighed. "I don't think you have to tell me why you're here."

"You heard about Tom?"

"Right after it happened. I know some people . . . they let me know."

Alicia leaned back and sighed. Her blue eyes filled again with tears, but this time, there were no wild sobs. The totally unexpected presence of her son's good friend from the Academy, here in the House of the Prophets, brought a measure of consolation. Alicia would not have to go over his entire history with her listener. Ro had been present for several years of it. Alicia suspected she knew her son in some ways better than Alicia did. She would not have to relate the family dynamics to the Bajoran, either. Ro had seen the family interacting on holidays during her years at the Academy, when the Paris family had opened their home to the Bajoran orphan.

Perhaps it would also be easier to tell her what had happened subsequent to Tom's loss. Alicia certainly hoped that would be so.

For several minutes, the two women who had each loved Tom in their own ways rested beneath the flowery arbor, drinking in the aroma of the blossoms lofted around them by a gentle breeze from an open window in the plasglass canopy high above them. The leaves rustled musically. Alicia became aware that her bags now rested upon the ground. Her hands were enclosed within the firm, warm grasp of the vedek's sympathetic ones.

* * *

"Mrs. Paris . . . Alicia . . . I can guess why you've come here, but I do need to ask you a question. What do you want us to do for you? You've come a very long way from Earth. While I am sure we have much to offer you, I would think you could find solace from a source a little closer to your home than Bajor."

"You always were good at getting right to the heart of the matter, Ro," the older woman said, with the slightest of smiles on her lips. It was the first time since she ascended the path to the monastery that she was not overwhelmed by her grief.

"Thank you. It's a skill I've tried to perfect since I moved here."

"What are you doing here, Ro? Or . . . what did the doorkeeper call you? Vedek Rikaar?" Belatedly, Alicia remembered the last thing she had heard about her son's old friend, that she was a deserter; that she had committed treason; and her whereabouts were currently unknown.

"From the look on your face, I gather you're remembering something of what I've been up to, or at least, since the last time I visited you."

"Right before you graduated from Advanced Tactical Training. Yes, I heard, but I find it hard to believe you could have done all the things you were accused of doing."

Ro looked straight into Alicia's eyes. "If they told you that I was assigned as an undercover operator against the Maquis; asked Captain Picard to remove me from the assignment; and after he refused, warned the Maquis so that they weren't captured in the operation; then yes, it's true. I did all of those things."

Alicia was sure she looked as stunned as she felt. When she trusted herself to speak, she said, "I did hear about most of it. But I didn't hear anything about you asking to be relieved of the assignment. Why?"

"I saw a good man killed by the Cardassians. I found that I agreed with the Maquis position, not Starfleet's, so I could not betray them. Captain Picard said I had to go through with the mission. I found I couldn't."

"So you joined the Maquis?"

"For a few months, yes . . ." Her voice trailed off, as if she had more to say, but she did not say anything more.

"Did you ever see Tom when you were with the Maquis?"

This time, a parade of emotions marched across Ro's face. "Didn't Tom tell you when he was sent back to Earth for his trial? I saw the newsvideo from his sentencing. You were there. I saw you."

Alicia looked down into her lap, where their hands were still clasped together. "Tom actually said very little to anyone about what happened. He never admitted to any of the charges. The only time I was allowed to visit him before the trial, he said he was sorry he was such a failure as a son. He let me hug him, but he wouldn't say anything at all about where he'd been or what he'd been doing. It didn't matter. They had plenty of witnesses to convict him. And after the trial, they wouldn't even let me near him." The tears tumbled down her cheeks. "He called out that he loved me as they dragged him off to prison. And that was the last time I saw him. The admiral told me I shouldn't visit him in New Zealand. I should have listened to my heart, because it kept telling me I had to go. But I was still being the good little admiral's wife then. And now I'll never see my son again."

Ro put her arms around her old friend's mother, to try to comfort her, but her mind raced. Tom had said nothing to his mother about Delestor II, or Malagra, or even about being in the Maquis. Clearly, he hadn't told his mother anything about the two of them. What should she tell her? How much should she reveal of their intimate history?

Eventually, Alicia calmed herself, and Ro decided that the most important thing was to obtain the answer to her question, which Alicia still had not answered.

"Alicia, I need to take you to the head of our House, Vedek Sharom. She'll welcome you, but she's going to ask you why you're here and what you want from us. Can you tell me, or is it something you only want to share with her?"

"Of course I can tell you. You know Kathleen and Moira are on their own, following their own dreams. For many years, I've supported my husband in his career. But now, since Tom's . . . since he's no longer here, I find I need to strike out on my own. I've heard that since the Emissary is a human being, and he's seen the Orb of Prophecy, I, well, I wondered if I would be allowed to look into the Orb too. I could use some guidance finding my own new path."

"I see. You can make the request. Permission may or not be granted. It's not a given you will be allowed just because you ask for an audience.

"Have you ever looked into the Orb, Ro?"

"Please, call me Laren here. And yes, I have. I had my own viewing shortly after I came here, a couple of years ago. It was quite . . . illuminating."

"Did it come true?"

"Not exactly as I saw in the Orb, but close enough," Ro hedged. "Vedek Sharom will decide if you are permitted to look into the Orb, and when the time is right if you are. How long do you have before you need to get back to Earth?"

Alicia looked away from Ro's face. "I can stay as long as I need to stay."

"This is a dangerous time to have come so far for something like this. I'm a little surprised that the admiral didn't advise you against it. What did he say when you told him you wanted to come?"

"I didn't tell him I was coming."

Ro gaped at her. "You didn't tell him . . . you do know it's very likely this will become a war zone soon, don't you?"

"Yes, I know. But my path and his are not the same anymore. Vedek Rikaar, I also use a different name now. I'm using my birth name. Alicia Kelley." Tom's mother took a very deep breath. "I left the admiral over a year ago. Right now I doubt I'll ever go back to using the name Paris. Please, don't get me started."

The face might be tear-stained, but there was steel in that voice. While Ro had not seen this side of Tom's mother before, she had always had a hunch there was more to the woman than she had seen during those holiday visits. Now she was sure of it.

"Let's get you to Vedek Sharom's office, then, Alicia Kelley. It's almost noon. It would be good to get you settled here for your stay before our midday services start. That's the most solemn part of our day here . . ." Ro led Alicia along the path to the office of the head of the House of the Prophets.

* * *

They had barely had time to drop off Alicia's bags at the Visitor's Hostel before going to the Midday Service. Ro - no, she must remember to call her Vedek Rikaar or Laren now - had explained that this service was a very solemn one, and the meal to follow would be eaten in silence. After the chants to begin the service were over, everyone meditated until a gong sounded, announcing the service's ending. Everyone rose up and, as a community, filed out to the Refectory for their main meal.

Laren had ducked out of the line of vedeks and stood next to Alicia, to help her during the meal. Alicia found it fascinating to watch everyone using signs and gestures. Although no words were used, a considerable amount of communication did take place. Alicia especially noted the warm smile Laren gave to a tall Bajoran male who was serving the meal, who smiled back at her in a like manner. It was amazing. Except for his distinctive Bajoran nose, this man was almost the double of Commander William Riker of the _USS Enterprise_.

During silent meditation, Alicia had said prayers for her son and for all of those who had been lost with _Voyager_. However, once she had finished with her prayers for them, her mind wandered. Because of her long history with the young vedek, Alicia could not help speculating upon the identity of the father of Vedek Rikaar's baby.

Cadet Ro Laren had made it quite clear to Alicia that she never intended to have a husband or family, for reasons she had never disclosed. Alicia had seen the signs, however. Laren had been uneasy around most males. Sometimes, even her good friend Tom seemed to spook her a bit. Alicia was certain the poor orphan had been very badly treated when she had been in the custody of the Cardassians. After graduation, Alicia had mentioned these suspicions to her son. He had refused to confirm them, but he hadn't denied them, either. The wounded look in his eyes when she'd asked him about Ro had told Alicia all she needed to know: Ro Laren had been very badly treated, and it was not hard to figure out how. Yet, Vedek Rikaar was pregnant and, to all appearances, was happy here. Something must have helped her overcome what had happened to her so many years ago.

This twinkle-eyed, bearded bear of a Bajoran, perhaps?

=/\=


	3. Maquis Histories

"We serve very plain fare here, as you can see, Supplicant Kelley, but it's nourishing and very well-prepared," Vedek Sharom said as soon as they crossed the threshold out of the Refectory.

"It was delicious," Alicia agreed.

"Vedek Rikaar will bring you to the kitchens for a snack later, if you want anything else. Our midday meal is the last formal meal of the day, you see. Rikaar always visits the kitchens in the afternoons." Vedek Sharom laughed lightly. Laren chuckled in return at what appeared to be a private joke. Alicia remembered wanting to eat constantly when she was pregnant, but she wondered if the Head Vedek - Abbess? - Alicia wasn't quite sure what her title was, other than "Vedek" - might be referring to that bear of a man who had been serving the food.

Laren turned to Alicia. "My husband is one of our cooks. He sets out the snacks. Whenever we can, we have our afternoon meal together."

"The tall bearded man who smiled with you?"

"Yes, that's the one. Supplicant Rikaar Tomas," responded Vedek Sharom. "Well, I have dull administrative duties to fulfill and must take my leave of you now. Supplicant Kelley, I will meditate upon the wisdom of granting your request. Please, be patient. I will give you an answer as soon as I can. Vedek Rikaar, please help our visitor as long as she seeks her way here in our House."

Alicia and Laren both bowed slightly as the Head of the Order swept gracefully away, to duties that Alicia thought were probably almost as dull as Vedek Sharom had deemed them. She hoped they were so dull that she would meditate all the more fully upon Alicia's request for an audience with the Orb of Prophecy and Change.

"Come, follow me," Laren said to her. "Let's walk out to the bench in the herb garden. It's a nice day to sit out there. I'm sure you have questions for me. I'll answer them as honestly as I can."

The herb garden, which was out in the open air, was lovely, although more to the nose than to the eyes. Herbs were not always the most beautiful of plants to look at, but their aroma and flavor more than made up for any lack of beauty. Alicia did not recognize any of the fruits ripening on the trees of the orchard which bordered the herb garden, but the sweetness of the air undoubtedly owed something to them as well. "Tomas will be making pies next week, I think," Laren said, as the two women settled onto the bench.

Alicia was startled by the name, then she remembered. "Oh, your husband's name is Tomas. He must be a very good man, and a kind one, I think. I remember when you said you would never have a family. I'm glad that's something you've found you could . . . you were able to get over . . . oh, I'm not saying this very well. Let me just say I've very happy for you, Laren."

"You guessed. From the beginning, you suspected I'd been abused, didn't you? Right from that first holiday visit. I saw the way you looked at me when I said I would never have a family." The vedek's dark eyes bored into Alicia's. She had to look away before answering.

"Yes, I suspected. I want you to know Tom never said anything to me, even when I asked him straight out."

Ro laughed. "I'm sure he didn't have to answer! Those eyes of his! He couldn't hide the truth from his own mother!"

"I don't know why I even bothered to ask him. I saw how you acted around men. The way you always hunted the ceiling at the Christmas balls so you could avoid the mistletoe! I guess I always hoped, well, that you would find someone. Even my Tom. You were always such good friends. I know how much he cared for you, right from the beginning. He tried to hide that, too! You seemed to be good for each other. But after a while, I gave up hope. I believed you when you said you would never have a family. And now, look at you! When are you due? Any time, I'd guess."

"Next month. Although I wouldn't mind if it were sooner! It's getting hard to do anything! I used to weed this garden, but with this big new Blessing from the Prophets inside me, I can't get down on my knees on my own very easily. It's even harder to get up! My fellow vedeks even help me during our services!" The young vedek caressed her stomach in the timeless gesture that is common to all pregnant women, or at least, to human (and, obviously, Bajoran) ones. The vedek said nothing for a long minute, then seemed to come to some sort of a decision.

"Alicia, you asked me this morning if I'd seen Tom when we were both in the Maquis. The answer is, yes. We did see each other. And the truth is, if it wasn't for me, he would probably never have become involved with the Maquis. You can blame me for what happened to Tom. Why he went to prison. Even, I guess, why he went on _Voyager_ with Captain Janeway. He wouldn't have been there for her to ask him if not for me."

Alicia felt her throat constrict. She didn't want to believe her son's friend, but she could not ignore the certainty that, religious person or not, the Ro Laren she had known would never lie to her about something as serious as this, especially since she would expect Alicia to be furious with her over this confession. Alicia did feel a flare of anger, but it was not towards the Bajoran. She knew what - and who - really was to blame.

"And I suppose you were to blame for Caldik Prime, too?"

Laren met her gaze, a shocked look on her face, but the truth was visible there, too.

"So, somehow you 'recruited' my son when he was drifting and lost after Caldik Prime? Am I right? And he grabbed hold of you like you were a life buoy, and gave himself to the Maquis cause because he was thankful to you for saving him? Tell me, did you ensnare him by becoming his lover, too?"

Laren's laughter was a surprise to Alicia, but then the Barjoran admitted, "No, I recruited him first, after I patched him up. Becoming my lover came later."

Alicia was shocked. "Truly? You're not carrying my grandchild, are you?" Even though she knew this must be ridiculous, surely they parted far too long ago, Alicia could not quell the hope that suddenly sprang into her heart.

"No, this is not your grandson, Alicia," Laren said gently, patting her on the hand. "This is the child of my husband. However, he will share the name of Thomas with his father and with my old friend, Tom Paris. Since you seem to be able to read me almost as well as you always could read Tom, I'll tell you our story."

Alicia listened as the woman she had known as Ro Laren recounted her short history with the Maquis, and her son Tom's even shorter sojourn with the group. If Caldik Prime had never happened; if her son Tom had been able to tell the truth right away instead of blaming the dead for the accident; if Tom could have lived with himself instead of admitting, much too late, that he was, in fact, the responsible party; her son would not have been cashiered from Starfleet. He would not have gone on the downward spiral of too much drinking and womanizing (Laren did not go into detail about the womanizing, but Alicia knew her son well). Alicia was certain, as she had been from the first, that the pressure to live up to his father's expectations had the most to do with all of it. She had seen her son only a few times after Caldik Prime; every time, he seemed more distant, more the lost soul she could not reach. Inevitably, he slid downward, and that slide led him to Delestor II, where his old friend found him and healed him of his wounds.

"He had no money and no place to go. I offered him the chance to be a pilot again, and he embraced it willingly. But he was only with the Maquis for a few weeks. He never even had a chance to participate in any missions. The only thing he did for the Maquis was travel with me back to Delestor, to where some of the Maquis were repairing an old ship for us to use against the Cardassians. He was going to pilot the ship we traveled in back to our base, while I piloted the one the crew had worked on. But just before we were ready to leave, Tom recognized some undercover Starfleet officers. He guessed they were after me. He sacrificed himself so the rest of us could get away. So . . . I could get away. He'd never even met the others in the cell he helped escape!"

Alicia sat back, suffering, as she heard the story of her son's last actions - or at least, the last she'd ever hear about, since _Voyager_ was lost. Yet she also found a measure of comfort. Her pride in Tom was restored. Her son hadn't totally lost his better nature. He'd finally been able to act in the noble way she always knew he could, sacrificing himself for others. As painful as his loss was, at least, in the end, he had believed in something, even if that something had been Ro Laren. His lover, Ro Laren.

She wanted to ask Laren about that, but found she could not, nor did Alicia really need to hear it from her lips in so many words. From the tone of Laren's voice, and, somehow, from how careful she had been when discussing their life with the Maquis cell, Alicia knew what they must have been to one another. Now another question came to mind. "Laren, how did you come to be here? Is this some sort of hideout for the remnants of the Maquis?"

"No, no, of course not! I'll admit, I'm not the only former Maquis living here, but it's not a hideout! After your son was arrested, I couldn't bear to stay with the Maquis anymore. Some things . . . a lack of trust . . . well, it wasn't only Tom that the others didn't trust. Some didn't trust me, and the leader had a tendency to trust people I thought he shouldn't. And he didn't trust Tom when I knew he should. I was a traitor to Starfleet. I certainly couldn't go back there, so I came here, just like you have. I placed my life into the care of the Prophets, trying to find my true path. The vedek who was head of the order then told me I could come here if I ever needed to, so I could sort things out for myself. Once I got here, I found out I really liked it. I like to be of service. I think that's one of the things that attracted me to Starfleet in the first place. Now I've found another way, a better way, for me to serve others. So I stayed."

"Gardening?"

"Yes. And Rape Counseling. That's actually been my primary job for quite a while now, not just because I'm too pregnant to work in the garden! But I still help Terzy, the man who helped you with your bags, whenever I have time. Or I did, until I got so big!"

"Oh, Laren!" Alicia held out her hands and squeezed Laren's in her own. "You've had such a hard life already, and you're so young yet!"

"I hope the difficult part is behind me now. And thanks to your son, I found something I'd thought I'd lost forever, because of the way I had been treated when I was young. I'm able to Honor the Prophets, to love my husband in all the ways he should be loved. I want you to know I will be forever grateful to your son . . . for that gift he gave me."

Laren's voice had broken slightly at the last sentence. Alicia heard in that break the answer to the question she had wanted to ask, but had not: how Ro Laren had been transformed from the cadet who was uneasy around almost all men, other than her Tom, to Rikaar Laren, so clearly in love with her husband, and blessed by her Prophets with her first child. That little Thomas-to-be might not be her grandchild, but Alicia felt a kinship to him. She had opened her home to the Bajoran orphan. She now realized that, long ago, she had opened her heart to Ro Laren as well.

Alicia did not know how to say all of this to Laren, so, instead, she said lightly, "And your reward was to meet your husband here, in this House! That's wonderful."

Laren laughed at that comment in such a strange way that Alicia added, "Did I say something funny? Didn't you meet him here?"

"It's a very long story. Why don't we keep it for later. Let me give you the full tour of our House and its grounds. The roof over the protected courtyard was spared during the Occupation, you know. Even the Cardassians appreciated what was growing inside and resisted the temptation to smash the roof . . ."

* * *

The tour ended in the kitchens. Alicia had noted the doorway when they passed in and out of the Refectory earlier in the day. This time, they entered the doorway and stepped down three stone steps into a large room, with several small tables. I couple of other vedeks or supplicants sat at one of them. (Alicia was still not quite clear on how the terms applied to various people at the House.) Vedek Rikaar headed to the table in the corner. Seconds later, the tall Bajoran man appeared, carrying three mugs and a large covered platter .

"No _hasperat_ today, I'm afraid. I didn't know we were going to have any special guests. Maybe tomorrow," he said with a smile.

Laren countered, "I knew that. The aroma in here is much too mild for _hasperat_. What do you have there?" She turned up the corner of the cloth covering the plate.

"Scones, with dried _burburria_ - they're like cranberries, only they're green, not red. And I've got fresh _winzan_, picked from the orchard just this morning. They're a lot like your plums, Mrs. Paris," he answered.

"Please, just call me Alicia. I'm actually Alicia Kelley now." She picked at a crumb that had fallen off one of the scones. "You seem to have taught yourself a lot about Earth foods, Rikaar Tomas, is it?"

"Yes, you could say that," he laughed. Laren grabbed a napkin that had been set on the table to stanch the juices running out of the _winzan_ she had just bitten. From the merry look on Laren's face and the young man's laughter, Alicia felt there was some sort of secret joke being perpetrated upon her.

"Alicia was asking where I met you. She thought I must have met you here in this House."

"If you didn't meet here, then where did you meet?" Alicia could no longer contain her curiosity, but neither of them answered right away.

The other two vedeks, or whoever they were, had just cleaned up their dishes and were leaving the kitchen. When they were well out of the door, Rikaar turned back to Alicia and replied, "Actually, we met when she broke me out of prison. A Cardassian prison."

"What?!"

Laren patted Alicia on the arm. "You see, my last foray into action with the Maquis was not by my choice. I was asked to go along with a group of vedeks to provide 'spiritual comfort' for the inmates of a Cardassian prison. I had my suspicions there might be more to it, though, and I was right. After we were under way, I found out the trip was a cover for a jail break. The Maquis wanted to break out a group of prisoners from Lazon II Prison. It would have been a total disaster if the Klingons hadn't declared war on Cardassia just at that time. An attack force invaded the prison while we were still there. If they hadn't come, we'd all have surely died. But that's how I met my Rikaar Tomas. The Cardassians knew him by a different name. Starfleet, too."

"A different name? You were in Starfleet?"

Tomas responded, "Are you familiar with the name Thomas Riker?"

"Thomas . . . you mean, the one who stole the _Defiant_? The one the Federation gave up to the Cardassians? You're . . . Will Riker's twin?"

"The one and only. I do have some individual achievements, although I prefer not to advertise them here. Sorry I was slow to answer you, but that's why I waited until the other two vedeks left."

"No wonder I thought you look like Commander Riker! But you're Bajoran!"

"A little surgical enhancement to the nose. It won't hold up to a tricorder reading, but no one seems to be too concerned about the cooks here." Rikaar winked at Alicia and took a bite of one of his scones.

"So you're really the twin of William T. Riker. That's right. His middle name is Thomas, isn't it?"

"Yes, officially we have the same name, because we really were the same person growing up. My wife assures me that all identical twins used to be the same person, only they split into two at some point in their development. In my case, it was very late in our development! I used W. Thomas Riker until I was convicted and sent to Lazon II."

"And here, he's Rikaar Tomas, because that's how Bajorans would say his name," Laren answered.

"I remember Tom's lessons to all of us about Bajoran names when we first met!"

"Since I'm here, and with the nose, I haven't had people make the connection. I prefer to keep a low profile, in any case. I've had quite enough of prisons, thank you very much."

They spoke quietly for a while about Thomas' love of cooking, which he had developed very early, in childhood. Alicia thought the snacks he provided were delicious, the perfect light meal for the end of the day. When their tea was gone, he offered to get them more. "We've got _jumja_ tea in the urn, but I have some very nice Earl Gray in the back I can make up for you. Some of us here developed quite a taste for it because of a certain captain on the _Enterprise_."

"Me more than you," Laren laughed. "I think I would like a little Earl Gray, hot, of course. What about you, Alicia?"

"Actually, that's one of my favorites. I'd like a cup, too. Thank you."

After Thomas had left them, Alicia whispered, "I know it was supposed to be a life sentence, but Laren, if he was a prisoner of the Cardassians . . ."

"Yes. He paid for his crime," the young vedek remarked grimly. "The scar tissue on his back, and some other places, too, will never totally heal."

"How is he . . . emotionally?"

Laren looked quizzically at Alicia. "He's fine, especially considering all he's been through. Why?"

"My husband was captured by the Cardassians. When he came back, he was . . . changed. More distant. That's why I couldn't believe it when he supported this damned treaty. The one that the Maquis fought against so long and so valiantly."

"You sound like a Maquis."

"It's why we're not together anymore," Alicia replied simply. "Maybe my Tom wasn't much of a Maquis, the way you tell it, but I have supported them from the beginning. I couldn't speak out married to a Starfleet admiral, so I left him. And now, I don't know what to do with myself. Laren, I'm so adrift. I came to Deep Space Nine on a pilgrimage of sorts, because that was the last place my son had been that I could get to. They have a very nice memorial in the chapel there, do you know it?"

"Major Kira told me about it. I haven't seen it. I stay pretty close to home here. I'm still a deserter, so I risk getting arrested if I push it. It's best I keep a low profile, too."

"Well, it's a very nice memorial to _Voyager_. They have a group of them, because several other ships were lost around that same time. When I visited it, the vedek there - or was he a Ramjen? I'm sorry, I get so mixed up about who is who sometimes."

"You'll get it eventually."

"Well, I heard about your House from him. He told me about the Orb. So I came here to see if I could find out what to do with the rest of my life."

"Whether you look into the Orb or not, this is a very good place to seek answers to your questions."

"Just remember you'll have to ask a whole lot of other questions before you get to the answers," Thomas interjected, balancing a steaming teapot and three cups on a tray.

When they were cleaning up the dishes after their meal, a gong sounded. "That's the signal we're to go to Sundown Services, Alicia. You can go on ahead and find a seat. We have our places in the chapel reserved. Can you find your way?"

"Up these steps, and then a right turn up to the chapel, right?"

"That's it."

Once Alicia had left, Thomas turned to Laren. "So, that's Tom Paris' mother?"

"Yes. She's in such pain now. It hurts to see her grieving like this."

"It's a wild guess on my part, but from what you've told me about him, I'd say Tom must take more after his mother than his father. Am I right?"

"I always thought so."

"Then I'm sure I would have liked him."

Laren brushed her hand against her husband's bearded cheek before sinking into the warmth of his embrace.

=/\=


	4. Visions

During her first days at the House of the Prophets, Alicia jumped whenever someone called her name. Whenever she was at a service or a meal, her eyes followed Vedek Sharom to see if the head of the order would summon her to tell her that today was the day she would be permitted an audience with the Orb of Prophecy and Change.

After her first week in the House of the Prophets, however, Alicia began to understand what Laren, as well as the other vedeks with whom she had contact, meant when they told her that even without looking into the Orb, one could find a better way to live one's life here. Many began to put the pieces of their lives back together without ever having the audience with the Orb that Alicia had requested. Rituals and routines helped, but so did the hours she spent in the library. Alicia found a myriad of excellent texts there, written in Federation Standard. Since Alicia had brought her Bible with her to Deep Space Nine, she had it available for her use here as well. Alicia recognized many similarities between the sacred writings of Bajor and those of Terra. It was nice to realize there were constants in the universe. Truly, great minds _did_ seem to think alike, on many worlds.

She did not totally ignore what was happening outside of the House of the Prophets. She followed the worsening situation in the region and sensed an opportunity existed to do some good to mitigate the crises that were fast approaching. She wasn't quite sure what that good thing might be yet, but she felt that if she persevered, she would discover it.

Her late evenings were given over to study. In the morning and early afternoon, however, Alicia spent her time working with her hands. She enjoyed the lessons she received from those who specialized in weaving and pottery, but her favorite was gardening. She quickly perceived why Laren so enjoyed working at that task. It was the company.

Terzy was technically still a Supplicant, or in human monastic terms, a lay brother. His reverence for life of all kinds was notable. Religious fervor was not the first thing one noticed about him, however. Terzy's hands were always grimy from digging in the dirt. His true gift was a genius for working with plants. His particular interest was breeding varieties that would restore fertility to lands which the Cardassian Occupation had turned to wasteland. Terzy was a cheerful soul, as down to earth as his craft. Alicia felt an ease around him she had not known with anyone for a very long while. Until she came to this place and gave herself up to the experience, she had not realized how incredibly tightly wound up emotionally she was. Her grief for her son had obscured her ability to see what she had become.

Despite her busy days, she still had plenty of time to grieve for all she had lost. She prayed for her lost Tom, of course, but she quickly realized that she was also grieving the loss of her husband of almost forty years. Their marriage was broken, and Alicia was not sure how she could ever put it back together. She still loved Owen Paris, but she no longer recognized him as the man she had married. He had never been the same since he was imprisoned and tortured by the Cardassians. Much of his joy in life had died. Everyone in their family had tiptoed around him at first, hoping he would recover his good spirits. Tom had tried the hardest to cheer up his father. He had gone along with all of his father's demands. He'd even given up his long-cherished dream of entering Earth's naval service. Instead, because his father was insistent that he join Starfleet, Tom had gone to Starfleet Academy.

It had not been easy for Tom. Alicia privately thought he was better suited to life on the water instead of in space, even if he was a terrific pilot. Owen always pushed Tom so hard. The worst was when Tom was in his class. Alicia had stood by helplessly as her husband drove their son relentlessly. She thought it was a miracle Tom managed to retain his good spirits throughout his time at the Academy. Some of that resilience might have been due to his friendship with a Bajoran cadet who had lived a life so much harder than Tom had. He never completely lost his perspective when his father rode him hard. At least Tom still had a father and a family. Ro Laren had neither.

Then came Tom's fall from grace at Caldik Prime. Once the true story came out, Alicia believed Tom had lied to the official Board of Inquiry after the accident because he had been afraid to disappoint his father, but Tom's guilty conscience betrayed him in the end. As he told his mother after he had been thrown out of Starfleet, he found he could not live with his lie, even though telling the truth too late meant the ruin of his career. Alicia understood and forgave him. If Owen had done either, he had hidden it completely from his family - especially from his son.

And then Tom was arrested as a Maquis terrorist, was convicted, and finally was lost with everyone else on _Voyager_. Her husband blamed the Maquis. He couldn't blame his protégée, Kathryn Janeway. She was also lost with _Voyager_. The Maquis were still around. They could be punished for the loss of his son. The man who had been tortured by the Cardassians supported the treaty that favored the Cardassians rather than those who had been victimized by them. It was a classic case of blaming the victim.

Once she realized what was happening, Alicia left her husband. She believed in lifelong vows of marriage and truly did still love him, but she could no longer live with the way he now was, in complete denial of everything she felt was important in life. Alicia could no longer trust him to do the right thing.

She found a little apartment in San Francisco. The separation agreement allowed enough funds for a few frills, like this trip to Bajor, but she was no longer a pampered admiral's wife who enjoyed many "perks" due to her position. All of that was now in the past.

It was the strangest thing. After she had made her way to Bajor, and after she had lived a much simpler life in the House of the Prophets for a few weeks, Alicia found she did not mind the loss of privilege at all. She actually preferred this kind of life. Laren called it a life of service. Somehow, Alicia knew that was what she was meant to do with the rest of her life, but she still had to identify exactly what service she could offer others.

By the end of Alicia's third week on Bajor, she had ceased her constant surveillance of Vedek Sharom. She was content to continue her studies until she felt she had to return home to Terra.

One afternoon, however, Alicia was summoned to the office of the head of the order. "Alicia Kelley, pray with me for a while."

As they prayed, Alicia realized what was happening. She was being prepared for her Orb experience. Alicia Kelley, a human being from the world of Terra, was to be permitted a glimpse into the Orb of Prophecy and Change. This was a great privilege, one which had nothing at all to do with being the wife of an admiral. By her prayers and study, Alicia had earned the right to experience whatever this Tear of the Prophets could offer her.

* * *

Vedek Sharom opened the cabinet which housed the most precious object of this House. "Alicia Kelley, also known as Alicia Paris, the time has come for you to look into this Tear of the Prophets. I can make no promises about what you will see. Your visions may or may not come true. It may be a painful vision to see, or you may not see anything at all. Are you prepared to accept whatever it is that you will see here? Do you choose to look into the Orb of Prophecy and Change?"

"Yes, Vedek Sharom. I would like to see whatever it is the Orb can show me."

Vedek Sharom stepped aside. Alicia opened the doors housing the Orb. The light spilling out of the Orb was so bright, it was almost painful, but before Alicia had a chance to even think of looking away, she fell into a vision.

_Space rushes by her, glittering with unknown stars which stream and swirl around her head. She seems to be flying on her own through the void. She cannot perceive the walls of a starship around her, but she can see clusters of worlds circulating around many suns. Alicia does not know how, but she knows she is passing through a region of space that is hostile, disputed, dangerous. All around her, there is pain and suffering. _

_And now she sees them, the children; a multitude of children, of all ages and many races, surround her, with their hands outstretched. They are reaching out, crying out in many tongues: "We are hungry. We are cold. We are sick. We are lonely. We can't find our parents. Can you help us? Please, please, help us!"_

_She feels overwhelming sorrow. She's so helpless. So much need! So much pain! How can she help so many? And yet that is her path. She must find a way to help them. They need her. They need a mother's love, and she has so much love to give._

_The stars stream by her again, in strange patterns she knows she has never seen before. Words are uttered in a voice that is hauntingly familiar: Sakari. Moneans. Vidiians. Hirogen. Brunali. She doesn't know what any of them mean, but she knows the words do have meaning, to someone. Someone dear. And that voice is so familiar. _

_And then she sees him. She sees her Tom. The children cluster all around him, but they part to let him pass. He walks towards her, holding a toddler in his arms. The child hugs him closely. She thinks Tom might be the child's father, but he does not speak to the toddler. He speaks to all the other children, the ones who are reaching out to him, and to Alicia. Her Tom's voice echoes in her ears: "Help is coming soon, help from far away. You will have plenty of food, and warmth, and love, very, very soon now. My mother will help you. Very soon now." _

_Tom turns towards her. Now she can see he is followed by a woman, whose face she cannot quite see. Somehow she knows the toddler in Tom's arms is her child. "And we're coming to you, too, Mom. Soon, very soon." He smiles beatifically at her, his beautiful blue eyes shining. _

_The glittering light in Tom's eyes flares into unbearable brightness - so bright, Alicia must close her eyes or surely, she will be blinded by that bright blue light. The light of life in her son's eyes._

She didn't know how long she stood there with eyes closed, afraid to open them. Tom was not there. He would never be there, but he had told her something important. There was something she needed to do, and it was so obvious, she could not imagine why she needed to look into the Orb of Prophecy and Change to find out what it was.

Finally, Alicia could no longer justify her presence in this room. Her vision was finished; her audience with the Orb was over. Carefully, she opened her eyes.

She was standing in the audience room, exactly where she had been when she'd opened the cabinet doors to look into the Orb. The cabinet doors were now tightly shut. Alicia took a very deep, cleansing breath. It truly was over.

Vedek Sharom was gone, but another had taken her place. Vedek Rikaar Laren was sitting on a bench, beneath the open window of the audience room. "Intense, isn't it?" Laren said sympathetically.

In two steps, Alicia reached the bench and sank down onto it. "How long was I . . . how long was my vision?"

"I can't tell you for sure. You were already enraptured when I arrived. I've only been here for a couple of minutes."

"Tom was in my vision. He said he was coming."

"Alicia, we usually don't speak of our visions until after they come true."

"How can this one come true? Tom is gone."

Laren looked at Alicia with a strange, haunted look upon her face. "That's very interesting. When I had my vision, I thought it couldn't come true either, but it pretty much has, or will, very soon." Laren caressed her stomach, so full of her child. Alicia realized that this baby of hers would be born any day now. She hadn't expected to still be here when he came, but now, she was sure she would.

"Your vision was about your child?"

"Yes, and his father. That's the part that seemed impossible! A Tom with Will Riker's face! Of course, I know sometimes people don't have their visions come true, but in my case, it basically has. I haven't even told Thomas this yet, so please, don't tell him!"

"I won't. I promise," Alicia said with a smile. "You know, I'm famished. Do you think we can go down and have some sort of snack? I know it must be getting late, and we have a service to go to, but I have something else I need to talk to you about."

"Is this from the vision, too?"

"Yes, but to be honest, I'm surprised I never thought of it before myself."

"Well, then, let's go down to the kitchens and see what Thomas has cooked up for snacks this afternoon."

=/\=


	5. Help for the Children

"I love these _hasperat_. They have that smoky Southwestern something to them." Alicia licked her lips in appreciation as she took another bite of the spicy parcel.

"That's the secret! There's a little cumin in them," Thomas laughed. "You have a well-educated palate, Alicia Kelley."

"Mmm. Very good. Would you be willing to share the recipe? I know Kathleen would enjoy them. They're just the sort of thing she loves."

"I'll have to cut the recipe down a bit. I usually make about ten dozen at a time, but sure. Some of the spices are Bajoran, but I can suggest substitutes that are easier to get on Earth. I'll write it down for you."

"Thank you, Thomas. Well, Laren, part of my vision was sort of symbolic, but it's something I need to do right away. I need your help. It has to do with helping the children and families of the Maquis. I know there is much suffering because of all the turmoil. So many have lost their parents because they have been killed or imprisoned . . ."

As Alicia described her vision of the children pleading for help, both Laren and Thomas nodded their heads in agreement. "You're on to something, Alicia. Many of the families _are_ living in desperate situations in this region. And if there's another war, which there almost certainly will be, their plight will be even worse. The vedeks and supplicants here do what we can, but resources are tight. Maybe the Prophets brought you here to help us provide the resources needed to help the families who've lost everything."

"I think they must have Called me here for this. Laren, even if I won't ever see my Tom again, if I can help the sons and daughters of the Maquis who died in the fighting, I know I'll be doing the right thing by him."

At her husband's puzzled expression, Laren explained, "She saw Tom walking towards her in her vision, too."

"Um hmm. He was holding the cutest little toddler and said that they were coming soon." Alicia sighed. "I wish it was true. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Starfleet comes to me and tells me that Tom isn't dead after all? It's all been a terrible mistake, and he'll be home soon? Laren, it's okay. I understand. That's a dream that won't ever be fulfilled. I'm sure that was symbolic, too, just like all of the children reaching out to me in the vision."

Thomas raised one eyebrow, in the patented Riker "devilish look," but he wasn't smiling at his wife. Laren tapped her upper lip. After her own vision, she wasn't as quick to assume that the vision of Tom Paris returning to his mother was only symbolic.

"Well, that was wonderful. The snack, I mean, but the vision, too. I feel a lot better. I know I've got a direction now. I think my time here is almost at an end. It's time I made arrangements to travel back home. I think I can get Kathleen and Moira to help me work on raising funds for relief supplies back in San Francisco. They might even be willing to come out here to help distribute them."

"If you're going to set up some sort of foundation, you'll need to come up with a name for the organization. Don't pick something like the 'Bajoran Orphans in Exile Relief Fund.' That was such a mouthful," Laren complained. Her voice had an edge to it, but Alicia did not think it had anything to do with the name of the relief organization that gave Ro Laren only a bare minimum of credits while she attended the Academy.

"Are you alright, Laren? You look like you're in pain," Alicia said, noting her friend's eyes were half-closed.

"My belly is tightening up again. You know how it is. You've had three babies!" Laren said.

"Okay. Well, a name. I think I've got one already. It's from one of Tom's favorite books when he was a boy. Have you ever read _Ivanhoe_?"

"Sir Walter Scott! Sure, that was one of my favorites, too," Thomas said. "A classic. It was written over four hundred and fifty years ago, but it's still a good read. Dashing knights in armor, lovely damsels in distress. Great stuff."

"I think I've heard the name before, but I never read that book," Laren said, with a little grunt. "So you're going to call it the 'Ivanhoe Foundation?"

"No, I have another name in mind. Thomas, remember the name 'Desdichado' in the book? It means the Disinherited One. I think the Desdichado Foundation is the right name for our project."

"Disinherited ones. Yes, that name fits only too well," Laren agreed. She stood up to get herself another cup of tea, but suddenly sat down heavily. "Oh, oh. Oh, my."

"Laren, what's the matter?" Thomas rose up and came over to the to his wife's side, but he slipped a little as he got next to her chair. "What the . . . what is this all over the floor?"

Alicia laughed. "That, Supplicant Rikaar, is the sign that you are about to become a father. Your wife's water just broke! Time to call in Vedek Krisya, I'd say!"

* * *

"He's a big boy, Laren. He's so heavy! But he's just beautiful!"

Major Kira Nerys held Rikaar Tomas the younger in her arms. The baby was quite an armful, giving every indication that he was going to take after his father in size. His feet were huge! He was a beautiful baby boy, with just enough of a wrinkle on the bridge of his nose, thanks to his mother's heritage, that no "surgical enhancements" would be necessary for him to be known as Bajoran.

"Aren't you glad you picked today for a visit to old friends?" Thomas said with a smile.

"A perfect day. Congratulations, to all of you."

"Thank you, Kira. I just wish I wasn't so tired."

"Pushing that big guy out of you took a lot of effort. No wonder you're tired! None of mine were four and a half kilos!" Alicia said, as she tucked the blanket around Laren's body. "You need to rest. It's the best thing for you now. Remember, always sleep when the baby sleeps."

"Not that he's asleep now," Thomas said with amusement, "but we can handle it. Rest now." As he led Kira away, he whispered, "Kira, I've got something I want to talk with you about. In private."

"Sure," the major answered. When they'd crossed over to the other side of the room, Kira asked him what he wanted.

"It's about the loss of _Voyager,_ and the other ship it was pursuing, the _Zola_. What evidence was there that the ships were destroyed?"

"Actually, there wasn't any."

"None at all?"

"Nope. No debris. Not a trace of a warp core explosion, which you'd expect if the ships were destroyed."

"Even in the Badlands?"

"Even in the Badlands. There's always some trace when a ship explodes."

"So why did Starfleet declare the ships lost so quickly?"

"I'm not really sure. You know, it wasn't just those two ships that disappeared. There were several others around that time, too. Off the top of my head, I remember that the _Hera_, the _Phoenix_, and the _Equinox_ all disappeared within a few weeks of each other. Not a trace of any decayed warp core resonances, no debris, nothing at all, from any of them. They all just vanished."

"That's really strange."

"Captain Sisko and I think there might be another explanation."

"What else could it be?"

"You've heard of the Mirror Universe?"

"Vaguely. Something that Kirk and his crew encountered a hundred years or so ago on the original _Enterprise_."

Kira chuckled grimly. "We've encountered it a lot more recently than that."

"Really? With everything all twisted around from our reality? You think the ships might have fallen into some sort of spatial rift?"

"It's a possibility. We had a Vulcan woman visit Deep Space Nine a little while ago. She's the wife of _Voyager's_ security chief, Tuvok. T'Pel said she's certain her husband is still alive because their marital bond has not been severed. She says she is sure she would know if it were. So, Captain Sisko told her - after insisting that she keep it a secret, of course - that the ships could have fallen into the Mirror Universe. It would certainly explain why T'Pel senses her bond with her husband is still intact. In fact, Sisko said he's certain he's seen a Vulcan who looked just like her husband when he fell into the Mirror Universe a while ago. He can't be sure it's not the Tuvok from that universe, of course, but it might be her Tuvok. We just don't know. We're not about to try to find another rift to go looking for them!"

"I can understand that! So, you're saying the crews of all those ships just might pop back into our universe again someday?"

"Maybe. We'll just have to wait and see. Don't say anything to Mrs. Paris. It's bad enough that Lieutenant Tuvok's wife has hope - not that she would ever admit to having an emotion like hope. It's not culturally acceptable. But I saw her after she came to Deep Space Nine, and then again just before she left. You can't tell me that woman doesn't have any hope that her husband is alive! But at least she already had reason to believe her loved one was still around. Alicia doesn't."

"Kira, when Alicia had her Orb vision, she saw her son. He told her he was coming 'soon.' I don't think she really thinks it's possible, though."

"Oh, boy. Better keep things that way. Then she won't be disappointed that he never comes back. Better to be surprised if he does reappear."

"You're right. We'll be careful."

"Here, take your son back. He's a load."

"Yeah, you're a big boy, aren't you, Champ?" Kira smiled at the big man's obvious pleasure in his offspring. Once his son was settled into his arms, he said, "You know, it's a good thing Alicia was still here. She helped Laren when the chimes and gongs and chanting thing didn't do anything to relieve her pain. Our little Tommy wasn't so little, you see. Alicia told us to get Laren upright and let gravity help us out. She was right. It didn't take long for him to pop out after that."

"Are you going to ask her to be a godmother?"

"No, we've got something else in mind. This little guy hasn't got any living grandparents. We want to adopt a grandmother."

Kira glanced over to where Alicia was fussing over Laren, plumping her pillows and smoothing the coverlet.

"She'll be perfect," Kira agreed.

=/\=


	6. Messages

**2376**

The path up to the House of the Prophets was just as rocky and worn by the footsteps of centuries of pilgrims ascending to the monastery as it was the first time Alicia Kelley climbed it. She was a few years older, yet she fairly skipped to the top. Her heart was light with happiness as she knocked on the door.

A very elderly vedek opened the door. She barely had time to say the ritual words, "Who comes?" before Alicia grabbed hold of her hands.

"One who seeks the ways of the Prophets, Vedek Jaxa! And with more joy than ever! My son Tom is truly alive! We've had it confirmed!"

Vedek Jaxa beamed. "I'm so happy for you, my child! The family is waiting for you in the gardens."

Alicia saw them as soon as she passed the doorway into the courtyard. They saw her, too. "Grammy! Grammy's here!"

The three-year-old bundle of energy tore up the steps and hurled himself into her arms.

"Oh, Tommy, you little weed! Every time I see you, you're so much bigger."

"Soon I'll be bigger than you!"

"It's only a matter of time," Alicia laughed as Tommy's parents approached them.

"What did I say about running into people, Champ?" His father said, in a voice that meant to be stern but didn't quite make it.

"I didn't run into anybody. I ran to Grammy!" Tommy insisted.

Alicia deposited her "adopted" grandson onto the ground and hugged his parents. "You're traveling light this time, I see," Thomas noted. Alicia had only one bag slung over her shoulders.

"Yes, I'll only be here for a few days. You did get my message that I was coming early, I take it?"

"We've been waiting for the last hour for you to show up. Do we have to wait for the good news you promised us?" Laren asked.

"No, I'll tell you now. Your friend Reg Barkley has made the Pathfinder Project a success. They've made contact with _Voyager_. What their doctor told us a couple of years ago has been confirmed. My Tom is alive! He's chief helmsman of _Voyager_. And they're going to be able to maintain regular contact with the Alpha Quadrant from now on. I'm here to get letters from the Maquis families so they can send word to their loved ones in the next data stream. At some point, there may even be visual contact, but for now, there will only be space for letters."

"Where's the list? Is Tabor's brother's name on it?" Thomas asked.

"Here's the list, and yes. Here's his name. Ensign Tabor Daneil."

"He and Krisya are going to be _so_ happy. Tommy, do you want to come with Daddy? We've got good news to bring to Tabor and Krisya."

When the little boy seemed hesitant, Alicia reassured him, "I'm staying for a couple of days, Tommy. Why don't you go with your dad and make your friends very happy?"

Once "the men" went on ahead, Alicia and Laren walked more sedately down the path toward the kitchens. After studying the list for a while, the vedek sighed. "There are several names missing on this list that I'd hoped would be there, when you told us that _Voyager's_ Emergency Medical Hologram came to the _Prometheus_. Mike Hogan. Kurt Bandera. Good people. And I have to admit, I'm surprised that Seska's name isn't here. I could have sworn she'd be able to survive just about anything."

"Hmm. Well, I do have some word about a few of them. Owen gave me some information, unofficially, of course. All three of the people you just mentioned did survive the displacement wave that took them so far away from the Alpha Quadrant, but things happen on starships, you know that. Hogan and Bandera both died while in service to _Voyager_. Seska, now, is another story."

"What about her? Is she dead?"

"Well, this was known from the Mark 1 EMH's information, but it was a deep secret. Owen only told me for this trip, when I asked if we should contact the families of the Maquis who died in the Delta Quadrant. You never really liked Seska, did you?"

"It was instant dislike. I never trusted her. There was something about her that made my skin crawl."

"She was a traitor. And she wasn't really Bajoran."

"Not Bajoran? What do you mean?"

"Seska, it seems, was a spy. And she was a genetically altered Cardassian."

"What? I can't believe it! I knew Chakotay shouldn't trust her the way he did. But a Cardassian! That's incredible. I always suspected her of duplicity, but that, no, it never occurred to me she wasn't a Bajoran. Have the Cardassians actually been willing to confirm this?"

"They refused to admit it after the first contact with the Mark 1 EMH; but this time, with Captain Janeway's official logs confirming her identity, the Cardassians said they'd 'take the information under advisement.' Owen says that means it's true."

Laren shook her head. "What other bombshells do you have for me?"

"Owen couldn't tell me everything, but it seems that Lon Suder was wanted for serial murder here in the Alpha Quadrant. He committed a murder on _Voyager_ and Janeway confined him to quarters because she couldn't think how else to handle him. Then there was some sort of incident with an invading alien species. Seska helped them take over the ship, but Suder and Tom helped take it back. They were both heroes! Starfleet won't have to worry about what to do with Suder when they do get back, though. Tom came through it all okay, but Suder died while saving the ship."

"Oh, dear. That man had such a scary stare. Unfortunately, I can believe he was a serial killer. I'm glad he redeemed himself before he died though. Alicia, this is exhausting. I don't think I can take much more without a nice cup of Earl Gray in front of me! Let's go to the kitchens. My 'men' will meet us there."

* * *

"We should be able to get letters from almost everyone who has living relatives on board _Voyager_. The only one I'm not sure about is B'Elanna Torres. She never mentioned any relatives around me," Laren said, as they enjoyed tea and scones.

"Actually, Owen told me they had some information about B'Elanna's relatives from her days at Starfleet Academy, so you don't have to worry about her. They'll handle it. Speaking of B'Elanna Torres . . ."

Laren looked up and met Alicia's gaze. "What about B'Elanna? If she's Chief Engineer of _Voyager, _she's doing great! I have to say, I always knew she had it in her. When I worked with her on Delestor, she rebuilt a bucket of bolts into a very effective ship of war."

"Oh, absolutely. Her career is going great. Her personal life seems to be going pretty well, too."

"Personal life. Wait. Fancy forehead. Tom. I'll bet your son cannot keep his hands off her."

"Apparently it took a while for him to get through to her, but you're right. They've been in a relationship for a couple of years now. Owen may have to live with having a former Maquis daughter-in-law. It sounds serious, from what we've heard."

Laren leaned back in her chair and laughed. When she calmed down enough to speak, she said, "When we were in the Maquis, I teased Tom that I didn't dare let him meet our engineer because he'd go crazy for her and her rippling forehead. She's a very beautiful woman, Alicia, feisty, and brilliant. She's exactly the sort of woman that will keep Tom on his toes for the rest of his life!"

"So you don't mind?"

With a sigh, Laren took hold of her good friend's hand. "Alicia, the Prophets had paths in mind for both Tom and me. We were allowed to walk together for a little while, but then our paths diverged. Mine was to remain here, to rescue my Thomas, and to have a family and a life radically different from the one I expected to lead. And your Tom had his own destiny to fulfill in a very different place. We were the best of friends, almost from the first. He gave me wonderful gifts, not only his sincere friendship, but also a time of loving that helped me to overcome a paralyzing fear of intimacy. I will always love your son, but as my good friend and, if you will allow me to say it, my brother. My Rikaar Tomas is the man I was meant to live my life with. I love him with all my heart. I'm so glad your Tom has found his B'Elanna way out in the Delta Quadrant. They both deserve happiness and love. I wish them both only the best."

Alicia clasped her hands with Laren's. "I'm glad. I was sure it would be all right with you, but it's still good to hear you say it. They're still so far from home. So much can happen. A few of the people the Mark 1 said were alive have since died."

"Let's not think about that, Alicia. I'm sure Tom will come home, with his B'Elanna on his arm. Maybe he'll even be carrying that toddler you saw in your vision!"

"That would be wonderful, wouldn't it?" Alicia sighed contentedly. "Well, let's get back to the main reason for my visit. How do we get word to the families about getting me their letters? I need to bring as many as I can get back with me when I return to Earth five days from now."

"I'm sure we'll get them. Vedek Sharom will let us send messages to the ones who are off planet. Maybe we can even send them to people who are on Bajor, too. They can respond with a message back, can't they? It would be quicker. "

"Actually, that's probably the best way for them to respond. I can download their letters onto a data chip that we can upload directly into the Pathfinder data stream. If I get them any other way, I'll have to convert them to get them onto a chip anyway."

"This is just great, Alicia. The Desdichado Foundation has done so much already. Now they'll bless your name more fervently than ever!"

"Oh, Laren. I've only done what any right-thinking person would do. The families needed our help. We owed it to them. They were the victims of aggression for so long, and then they were blamed for causing it! And for what? So the Federation was able to 'get ready' for the onslaught of war? Didn't work, did it? Oh, don't let me get started, Laren!"

"So don't start. Just remember how grateful so many are to you, and to your Desdichado Foundation. The humanitarian aid you sent to them when they really needed it literally saved lives, Alicia. And now, some of them will be able to make contact with loved ones they thought they'd lost forever. You, of all people, know what that's like, Alicia."

"Yes, I do know. I'm glad the Prophets put me on the path to helping them, and back to you, too - my daughter-of-the-heart, if not the flesh. But what about you? Are you going to write to your 'brother' or your friend B'Elanna, maybe even to Chakotay?"

Laren looked up at the ceiling and considered Alicia's question. "I don't know, Alicia. I'm still wanted as a deserter. Thomas was convicted of stealing the _Defiant_ by a Cardassian court. It's possible, given the current political climate, that the Federation would uphold that lifetime prison sentence if they knew - officially - where he was. It's better if I don't send them anything."

Alicia wanted to say more, but they were interrupted by the arrival of young Tommy and his father, accompanied by their very happy friends, Vedeks Krisya and Tabor. Terzy came in for a snack, too, and joined in with the general celebration of Alicia's good news. The list was perused, and other familiar names, such as young Gerron, Jor, Ken Dalby, and Chell were exclaimed over, with joy they had survived when they were thought to be dead. For several minutes, the general tumult prevented any further discussion about letters between Alicia and Laren.

Laren, however, had apparently not forgotten where they'd left off. As various groups settled in to snacking and discussing who else should be contacted to get the chance to write letters to those they knew on _Voyager_, Laren slipped into a chair next to where Tommy was sitting on his 'Grammy's' lap. "Alicia, I've been thinking. Maybe there is a way for me to send a message to them. Is there room in this data stream for any pictorial representations?"

"I know Starfleet was planning on sending things like star charts and technical schematics. I'm sure they could make room for a holoimage of your family."

"That's not what I had in mind. But that's a good idea. We can let the families know they can send a few pictures, and when there's room in the data stream, they can be sent off to the Delta Quadrant. We'll work together on this. We'll gather as many messages as we can for the next transmission, and for succeeding transmissions, too, for as long as it takes, until they all get home."

"Until they all get home, safe and sound. I love the sound of that, Laren." Alicia sighed, hoping that when that day came, the admiral could be part of it, as he would, if he could ever learn to see things the way Alicia did.

"And now, about that pictorial message I had in mind . . ."


	7. Letters from the Alpha Quadrant

**Somewhere in the Delta Quadrant, on ****_Voyager_****, en route to the Alpha Quadrant**

"Tom! You've received two letters from this data stream! Here they are."

"Thanks, Neelix," Tom answered, as the Talaxian handed him a PADD with a flourish.

"Anything for me?" B'Elanna asked.

"As a matter of fact, there is. It's a letter from your cousin." Neelix handed a second PADD to B'Elanna.

"Peeking into our messages, Neelix?" Tom said with a laugh.

"When they're coming through, I have to know who they're to, you know. It's hard not to know who they're from, too. "

"Uh huh," B'Elanna murmured, her voice dripping with skepticism. Once Neelix had left, she leaned over Tom's shoulder to peek at the letter in the PADD he was holding. When he didn't acknowledge her curiosity, she finally asked him straight out, "Okay, Flyboy. Spill. Who sent you letters?"

"One is from my father. The other is from my mother."

"Ah, the mystery woman I never hear about. What does she say?"

"Lots of stuff. My sisters are doing great, she says. But there's a picture here, too. Something a child drew. I'm not sure whose child it is. Neither of my sisters have any kids yet."

"Oh, look. 'To my Uncle Tommy.' It looks like your mother or someone else wrote that. It's too neat for the way the picture is drawn. The little boy must be pretty young. But how cute! All those flowers. But what's that big blue blob in the middle of the picture?"

"I haven't a clue. Let me see if there's anything in the letter that explains it."

Tom read his mother's letter for a minute or so without saying anything. B'Elanna was dying of curiosity, but rather than intervene, she read over her own letter from her cousin. When Tom began to read aloud from his letter, however, she looked up. From the expression on his face, he was profoundly moved.

"Tom, a certain vedek of your acquaintance was delighted to hear of your survival. She is also very pleased to hear you seem to have found that special someone she always knew you would find someday. She wants me to reassure you that she's found happiness herself. She said that 'the Prophets always knew it was meant to be this way,' and she thanks you for all you did for her. We've renewed our old acquaintance, Tom, and she's become more than just a friend. She's become like another daughter to me. Her son calls me Grammy! Her little Tommy thinks of you as his 'Uncle Tommy' and sent you a picture he drew. Once you get home, we can all get together, you and your B'Elanna, your sisters, your father, the vedek and her family, too - one big happy family. Take care dear. You are always in my heart, my thoughts, and my prayers. I love you so much. Mom."

When he'd finished reading, Tom kept his eyes on the PADD. B'Elanna was not sure if he was seeing what was on the screen. His mind might have been on something from his past life, before _Voyager_. When it was clear he was not going to say anything more, B'Elanna remarked, "Tom, the only 'vedek' I ever knew was Ro's alter ego on Delestor."

"She's the only one I ever knew, too. B'Elanna, Ro's name wasn't included in that first letter to Chakotay from Sveta, was it?"

"No, but Ro left us right after you were captured. If she's still around, she must never have gone back to the Maquis."

"Did she say where she was going?"

"Home to Bajor, I think. She couldn't have really become a vedek, could she? I can't believe that."

Tom looked down at the drawing again. "Actually, I can."

B'Elanna considered his answer. Really, she hadn't known Ro Laren well enough to be sure what she might do with her life, but Tom had known her very well. If he believed she could have turned to a religious life, then he was probably right. At least it must mean Ro was alive and well. With so many of the people they had known in the Maquis dead or in prison, it was nice to think that someone who had placed a lot of trust in B'Elanna was still alive and, apparently, free. At least, she would be free as long as the Federation couldn't find her.

"If Ro is still wanted by Starfleet, she couldn't send you a letter directly, could she?"

"No. And if my mom really is in touch with her, I don't think she'd say anything that would lead anyone to her. I guess we won't know for sure until we get home."

B'Elanna dropped her PADD onto the couch and put her arms around her Tom. They held onto each other for a long time, sharing the warmth of the love they'd found while lost in the Delta Quadrant. Finally, B'Elanna whispered, "We'll get home, Tom. Sooner than you think. And we'll have that family reunion. It's about time you took me home to Mother, isn't it?"

Tom laughed a little as he moved his head, to gaze directly into her eyes. "It sure is," he replied. Then he kissed his love for a very long time. It might take a while, but he had faith that all of their wanderings through the Delta Quadrant would come to an end someday soon. They were going to get home. Home, to family.

* * *

_This story was outlined around the same time that I wrote "The Messenger." This was to be a follow-up to that story. I never got around to actually writing it until now. As it has developed, this story is related to "Pilgrimage," "Happy Holidays, Cadet Ro," "The Mercenary," "In the Footsteps of Another," and "The Choice" (Yes, the little boy who is told by his mother to stop running around on New Earth at the end of that last story is little Tommy.)_

_All things Star Trek belong to Paramount, Inc. I can lay claim to Alicia Kelley and to various vedeks, as well as Supplicant Terzy. As with several of the previous stories, some details concerning life in the House of the Prophets are based upon the concept of the _conhospitae_ "double house" monasteries in Ireland during the early Christian era. _

_August, 2013-jamelia_


End file.
